We awoke at the Amari Watergate bright and early. There was much to do this day, and we were eager to get under way.

After our complimentary cups of coffee, we set out towards the Cambodian National Postal Authority.  En route, we stopped at a roadside stall with umbrellas and deck chairs to attempt to enjoy breakfast.

The coffee was an alkaline slurry of sugar and brown milk, and our food consisted of instant noodles, and old rice. Well, you can’t win them all…

Once we got inside, we began walking from counter to counter allowing them to weigh the package of Cambodian military surplus that we had purchased the day before for project K9.

The pricing and readout of the scales at the post office seemed to be tied to no standardized system. When none of the front windows would offer us a price we were interested in, we began to dig deeper. Behind the post office, we found a group of postal workers wiling away their day playing Pétanque (likely a hold-over from the French). From there we wandered in a back door, where we met a fellow who was lounging and snoozing on a wooden chair. He kindly showed us around to the far end of the post office, where we found yet another bank of counters.

The readout from the scale at these counters was much more favorable. The woman at the front desk was also overwhelmingly friendly and grinned and giggled while she packed up our items in a Vietnamese instant noodles box, taping it redundantly with brown tape. We hung around a while after paying, in case she needed us to make a customs declaration, but she apparently didn’t.

Back on the cycles, we headed in search of coffee and food, as the morning’s sustenance did not suffice.  Coming across a Chinese noodle joint, we feasted.

We took off from there, heading toward our third waypoint: the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum. This is the notorious Security Prison 21 (S-21) that was the sight of some of the most gruesome treatment of humans to occur during the reign of the Khmer Rouge. Perhaps second only to the terrible mass murders that took place at our next waypoint, a place colloquially called “the killing fields.”

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

We rolled into S-21 in high spirits, and despite some very effective joking around with the parking guards, promptly struck out in all attempts to bargain down the price of parking the bicycles. Our argument was that the price should be somewhat in line with the relative space required to park the cycles as supposed to a car. The guard was jovial, but would not budge. So we decided to consider it a donation to the museum, and proceeded to buy tickets and make our way inside.

You see, dear reader, Scott and I knew very little about the history of Cambodia going into this experience. We knew even less about the story of the Khmer Rouge, which I had only to-date encountered in the form of a vermouth-heavy cocktail by the same name often mixed by a good friend of mine. But I am once again getting ahead of myself… let it suffice to say a poorly timed expiration of the batteries in the Wikireader had sent us into this experience somewhat blind. And my goodness were we in for a shock.

There were three large exhibit buildings that made up the S-21 Genocide Museum. We are far from sure if this was how the museum was designed to be explored, but we started on the left side and as we walked began to learn, in bits and pieces, the story of the facility, and in doing so, the story of the Khmer Rouge.

S-21 was at one point a high school. Four months after the Khmer Rouge came to power in August 1975, the complex was converted into a prison and interrogation center. The Khmer Rouge renamed the complex “Security Prison 21” (S-21) and construction began to adapt the prison to the inmates: the buildings were enclosed in electrified barbed wire, the classrooms converted into tiny prison and torture chambers, and all windows were covered with iron bars and barbed wire to prevent escapes and suicides.

When the city of Phnom Penh fell to the Vietnamese in 1979 (note dear reader how short the rein of the Khmer Rouge was), the liberating troops followed the stench of corpses to the gates of S-21. Inside they found a terrible scene of carnage, with the bodies of tortured inmates chained atop iron beds, the staff of the facility having recently fled.

Due to our choice of a left turn, our first experience in S-21 was of these metal beds; each is preserved in a state of gruesome authenticity.

As we entered the first building, we wandered from room to room. Each room was a medium- to large-sized classroom. Inside of each was a rusted iron bed, usually with a couple of items placed on it as if tossed aside in a frantic departure. Among these items were the metal spades of shovels (used as weapons and torture devices), ammunition cases, shackles, and lengths of chain.

The rooms were deeply haunting, conjuring images from movies like Saw and Hostel. Except, when I saw these movies, I approached such extremes of brutality as a piece of intellectualized hyper-violence, a kind of inhumanity that is relegated to the most terrifying corners of our imagination, or at least relegated to the distant past, and as such, sterilized to a point that one can cloak oneself in sterile objectivity and spit comments from the back row. Now it was here, staring me in the face.

The weight of this place was immense.  It felt like weeks had passed, not years, since the liberation of S-21. The museum was set up more like a crime scene than a conventional western museum, with items thrown on the ground as though they had been discarded while fleeing. Exhibits were set off-center and akimbo, as if they too were evidence that the visitor was stumbling upon, rather than calculated pieces of communication.

Explanatory placards were few and far between, leaving us to draw our own haunting conclusions from a number of yellowed and faded prints that hung in each room. The prints were from the original negatives that were taken during the liberation of S-21, and while they were often  blurry and under-exposed, we could easily see that each one was of a tortured and starved human being, sprawled dead on the very same iron bed that lay before us.

While I am not one to believe in the supernatural, there was a certain weight to the air, a certain difficulty in breathing, a certain inability to feel relaxed or completely logical, which one might have easily attributed to ghosts.

We exited this first building in which they had found the tortured bodies chained to beds, and made our way into the next. We stopped for a moment to learn more about a strange structure that stood between the two buildings. It had at one point been part of the school’s physical education equipment. It had held three ropes, which were used to test students’ ability to climb. The Khmer Rouge re-purposed the structure into a gallows and torture device.  A large placard explained how prisoners would be tortured, first being hanged by the arms until losing consciousness, then being woken by having their heads dunked into a large clay barrel of human sewage and then hanged again until losing consciousness, in a cycle of pain and terror.

Also in the courtyard was a sign depicting the rules of interrogation.

This place was seriously heavy, and Scott and I were still left somewhat confused as the what exactly the Khmer Rouge was, and why they would resort to such brutal and inhuman behavior.

We were glad to find that the next building contained a few more answers. Much like the Nazis, the administration of S-21 had taken care to photograph and document each prisoner, and though each prisoner’s dossier was later separated from his or her photo, most of the negatives remained intact.

The bottom floor of this next building was filled to the brim with large billboards filled with images of emaciated and terrified Cambodians.

Also featured in this building was the horrible chair that a prisoner at S-21 had been forced to sit in while posing for these mug shots. The chair was wooden, strangely proportioned, as though not quite built for humans, and bolted onto a large metal contraption, sporting a pointy apparatus used to steady the head. I cannot imagine a more terrifying chair.

From there, we made our way upstairs to the second floor. There we finally got some more information on the Khmer Rouge and what it was we were witnessing. Since it will continue to be relevant for the rest of the post, I might as well start with a brief rundown of the Khmer Rouge and what exactly happened in Cambodia.

The Khmer Rouge (I’d let you know how it looks in Khmer, but in an unusual display of poor form on the part of Apple Computer, the Khmer language is not supported on Mac OS X) was another name for the Communist Party of Kampuchea (an alternate name/spelling for Cambodia). It of course means “Red Khmer” in French, the colonial language of Cambodia.  Khmer people are the major ethnic group in Cambodia. Prior to their 1975 victory, the Khmer Rouge were a guerrilla force, which after taking control of Phnom Penh in 1975, became officially The Revolutionary Army of Kampuchea (RAK – scary acronym right?). The Communist Party of Kampuchea itself was a secret leadership of the Khmer Rouge. It consisted of a few extremely powerful insiders. To the populace, it called itself the Angkar, which means “the organization.” It only officially announced its existence in 1977, almost two years after it came to power.

The Khmer Rouge seized power in Cambodia and held it from 1975 to 1979. The Khmer Rouge were led by a fellow who called himself many things, but Pol Pot is probably what people are most familiar with. Pol Pot was originally a rich Cambodian kid who went off to study politics in France. There he became involved with French communist groups; he came back to Cambodia with a thirst for power and a hypocritically fierce animosity for the rich and educated. He became very active in the Cambodian Communist Movement and eventually, with the help of the Vietnamese, Pol Pot and his cronies were able to develop a powerful and violent insurgency.

Most historians also cite the ruthless bombing of Cambodia by the U.S. during the U.S.-Vietnam war as another important factor that lead to increased support for the Khmer Rouge, although whether the U.S. bombing was a deciding factor in the rise of Pol Pot is heavily debated. I invite discussion of this theory in the comments, however.

From there they renamed the country Democratic Kampuchea, with a flag that featured a kind of mod interpretation of Angkor Wat.

Pol Pot began a fierce campaign of social engineering focused around his contempt for urban intellectuals, wealthy folk, and religion, paired with the idea that all problems in Cambodia could be solved with increased rice production. You see, dear reader, Pol Pot thought that if he could just evacuate everyone from the cities and send them to work in the countryside, Cambodia would easily be able to double or triple its rice production in just a few years. This, of course, did not work, proving effective mainly  in ushering in years of widespread famine in Cambodia.

Not long after taking power, Pol Pot began to fall out of agreement with the Vietnamese, mostly over where the border between those two countries should be, and the growing influx of Cambodian refugees making their way to Vietnam to escape the Khmer Rouge.

Another part of this re-arranging of society was the removal of people who did not fit in with the plan. People who fell into this category were those who were not purely Cambodian by blood (especially Vietnamese-esque individuals), people who were educated (this category extended all the way to anyone who could read), people who were seen as threats to the power of the current regime (this category included mostly a random smattering of the unlucky) . People who wore glasses were even encouraged to thrown them away so as not to look intellectual or literate. Cambodia became the most isolated and backward country in southeast Asia, seemingly overnight. It also became a very scary place to live.

The cities were emptied, as long-time city dwellers were sent to work in the fields. At the height of the Khmer Rouge, Phnom Penh became a ghost town, occupied by less than a tenth of its previous population.

Pol Pot was obsessed with Cambodian self-sufficiency, so in the case of goods where self sufficiency was nearly impossible due to lack of intellectuals, supply, or infrastructure, he would simply pronounce the good to be unimportant or even evil. This madness was applied even to the national supply of medicine.  No surprise – this,  led to the deaths of thousands from treatable diseases (such as malaria).

Purging of undesirable elements of the population ramped up, along with purges of Pol Pot’s own ranks, mostly driven by increasing paranoia and distrust of his advisers. In the end somewhere between a fifth and a third of the population of Cambodia was killed, either in prisons, during forced labor, or in death camps.

War broke out between a re-united communist Vietnam (still fresh from soundly whopping the U.S. during its civil war). And while the Vietnamese were able to liberate Phnom Penh, Khmer Rouge forces still held some areas in the north until the late 90s. Let me say that again: the late 90s!

Unbelievable.

Back in 2010, Scott and I wandered through the museum of atrocities, taking in countless more torture devices and finally wandering over to the final large school building. At the exit of this building was a large picture of a fellow they called “Duch.” He was one of the masterminds behind the genocide, and also one of the few to have  confessed to involvement. As you see below, many of the visitors were none to pleased to see him.

This part had been sectioned off into individual cells using wood, brick, and concrete. It proved to be one of the most haunting locations yet. One of the most striking elements of our experience in S-21 was that it seemed not to have been cleaned since the brutal events that make it so significant. American museums are clean, sterile places. Here, the floors were covered with ambiguous dark stains, the cells were filthy, and things like hinges on doors were falling apart. Nothing was behind a barrier, it was simply set up as a space to explore.

Feeling thirsty and a bit frazzled, we made our way back out to the cycles. We paid our parking fee and left the compound. As we wheeled farther from the place, I began to feel a kind of strange relief. As we rode back into the sun, and stopped to haggle for water with a particularly friendly woman, I realized that while in the  museum, part of me had begun to give up on my generally optimistic view of humanity. Seeing the evidence, and being so immersed in a place where humanity had demonstrated such ugly behavior, had frayed my senses. And now, as we wheeled our way back through the present, through a Cambodia that was on the rebound rather than in the depths of a terrible genocidal regime, I felt good. I felt happy and grateful to be where I was. Perhaps this strange phenomenon was one of the reasons that people go to places like S-21…

Our exploration of the Cambodian genocide was far from over. We pedaled hard right through the heart of Phnom Penh and soon made our way out into the countryside. We pedaled on, keeping our eyes peeled for what we assumed would be a pretty large and blatantly marked establishment. The more official name for the place is the Choeunk Ek Genocidal Center. And though there is a pretty big sign, the proliferation of cows in front of it may have distracted us. Regardless, we rode right by and some four or five kilometers farther before we realized our error. A quick consultation with a roadside vendor had us back on track and once again loaded down with water, which we continued to drink at a frightening pace. It was still stifling  Cambodian humidity, after all.

We finally spotted the sign and made our way onto a much smaller and quite obviously brand new road. We parked our bikes near the entrance and made our way inside.

The first thing that anyone who visits the Killing Fields will notice is a giant glass and stone tower in the center of the compound. This tower is perhaps better called a stupa and is filled with skulls. And when I say filled, I mean jam-packed with human skulls. All these skulls had been dug out of the ground in the surrounding square kilometer or so.  We decided to save the stupa of skulls for last, and first tour the facility.

This is where the Khmer Rouge would bring people to kill them. It is not large, nor is it mechanized like the death camps of Nazi Germany. People were killed here by hand, using hammers, axe handles, spades or even sharp pieces of bamboo. When the deed was done, whether dead or not, the poor soul was thrown into a giant pit and covered with DDT or lime in order to control the smell and the bugs, then covered over with dirt.

If you were a citizen of Cambodia during the reign of the Khmer Rouge and you did something to bring attention to yourself, a warning from Angkar would be delivered to you. People receiving more than two warnings were sent for “re-education,” which meant near-certain death. Re-education was where those unfortunate enough to find themselves were “encouraged” to confess to the Angkar their “pre-revolutionary lifestyles and crimes.” Such crimes were usually some kind of free-market activity, contact with an outsider, or generally suspicious behavior. Those headed to re-education camps were typically told that the Angkar would forgive them and “wipe the slate clean.” In reality they were merely taken to a place like S-21 or Choeung Ek for torture and/or execution.

The soldiers who carried out the executions were mostly young men or women from peasant families, some of them startlingly young.  On the ground, bones were exposed on the surface after rains slowly washed away the earth, as many of the bodies in the shallow graves were so close to the surface.

Victims’ clothing fragments can still be found, many of which are placed below a central glass box displaying skeletal remains.

We strolled around the facility, taking our time, and paying our respects at the many mass graves therein, visiting the tree where children’s heads were bashed in, and finally visiting the skull-filled stupa.

What was strange about Choeung Ek, compared to S-21, was that I did not feel that same inescapable weight. Though I must once again refrain from talk of ghosts, I will say that it was not a haunting place the way that S-21 was. Perhaps it’s because it was outdoors, cleansed somehow by the warm breeze, or by the natural cycles of plant growth and decomposition. Perhaps also because it had been excavated, developed and packaged more conventionally. Whatever it was, as we exited the facility, I found myself feeling a solid sense of accomplishment, that unnerved feeling was being replaced with kind of steady recognition. I dare say that it was the feeling of coming to grips, in a way, with one of the more disgusting parts of humanity.

Outside Choeung Ek there was a Cambodian amputee in military clothing. He was propped up on crutches, and removed his hat as I approached, motioning to me that he was hungry and and wanted money with which to buy food. I don’t generally give money to panhandlers, but later on when Scott and I sat down to eat a couple of coconuts, I walked over to him and offered him half of mine. He smiled and refused.

We climbed back on the cycles and wheeled home. Sure, we got a few other things done, but now, as I reflect on this dark wheel, they seem all too insignificant to even waste your time with, dear reader.

We woke up plenty early in the comfortable room at our local Battambang Chinese business hotel, a place called the Hotel Asia,  and lugged our things downstairs to find a pleasant surprise: it was raining. It had not rained on AsiaWheeling for months, since Kuala Lumpur in fact. The smell and the sound of the rain were invigorating in a totally unexpected way. We folded the cycles up in the hotel lobby. As we were doing so, the owner approached us and offered us a thank you gift for visiting his hotel: a couple of locally made silk scarves. We thanked him as humbly as we could and headed across the street to the bus station.

Some miscommunication with the ticket seller had resulted in an inadvertently early arrival. From there we had only to wait and take in the wonderful smell of the rain, which paired very nicely with a totally bizarre Cambodian cartoon show that was playing on a TV, bracketed to the wall of the station building. Next to the television was a glass case, inside of which were a number of tasty looking baguettes. We did our best to purchase some, but were instead met with some very stern remarks delivered by a child. The kid was certainly no older than 12, but he swaggered around, sticking out his belly like a 40-year old man. He spoke to us in a forcibly lowered voice, indicating that this was not his bread stand, that the owner was not around to transact business, that he was disgusted that we would even ask, and that, if we were interested, he was selling cigarettes and batteries right next door. He waved his hand at us as if to say, “Ah, forget it, you two chumps are a lost cause.”

I instinctively looked back at our luggage, which still lay where we had piled it on a station bench. We might be worthless idiots, but at least we had not lost our stuff. We returned to it, and from his bag, Scott produced some biscuits and cans of Nescafe. This would have to do.

When the bus finally arrived, it was an old decommissioned Incheon Airport Express. Though they had claimed at the ticket counter that the bus would have a bathroom, it did not. This was not the first time we had experienced this kind of bait and switch in Cambodia and Lao, but the seats were pretty comfortable, and we were able to load the bikes on board with no attempts made to elicit extra fees.

The ride was relaxing and scenic. Cambodia seemed to be drinking in the rain and greening up so fast you could almost see it happening in real time. As we drove on, the rain stopped, and we eventually climbed off the bus to stretch our legs and use the facilities at a makeshift rest area.

We got back on and continued our crawl over the vast flat pancake that is Cambodia.  At the lunch stop, we serendipitously crossed paths again with Elya, who was en route to Phnom Penh as well.  She lamented the road width and traffic chaos, but was clearly a seasoned wheeler.  We wished her the best and headed back to the bus.

Soon the fields turned into squat little housing developments, and those turned into apartment blocks, and all of a sudden we were in Phnom Penh.

We climbed off the bus, and attracted a giant crowd of people that watched with great interest and patience as we unfolded the bicycles and consolidated our belongings. We were not sure where we were in Phnom Penh, but from our research of the general geographical layout, it appeared that as long as one headed east, one would eventually hit the river, which appeared to be where the largest cluster of hotels was.

So east we rode, making our way through a number of truly giant street markets. One of these appeared to be solely devoted to fruits and vegetables. It was a morning market, and was nearing its end while the sun crossed past noon. With the end of the market, many vendors had simply deposited giant piles of rotting vegetables on the street, where they were being swept into larger piles by a great many old women. This made for quite the hazardous wheel, where we took our chances at times, riding the Speed TRs over slippery stretches of mushy cabbage.

The bus must have dropped us off at the western-most extremity of the city, for we needed to wheel for quite some time before finally making it to the water. Once we made it there, we quickly began the process of comparing rates at hotels, finally selecting the Amari Watergate Hotel. We had stayed at a great many guest-houses, even a few of which might be halfheartedly called resorts, but this was a real hotel, perhaps comparable only to the Hotel Nippon in Colombo in its level of hotel-ness.  What does that mean, you ask? Staff, a front desk, phones in the rooms to call the front desk, ice, coffee makers, do-not-disturb signs, maid service, bellhops, Internet. I’m talking Hotel here with a capital H.

It was glorious. And right smack dab in the center of a very interesting neighborhood, something in between a red light district and a central distribution center for the city’s sugar cane juice vendors.

With our things safely stowed at the Amari Watergate, we headed out to find some grub. The first place we saw was a rather posh looking Chinese-style noodle joint. Falling once again prey to the Cambodian dollar valuation problem, we sat down to some $3.50 bowls of noodles. They were quite tasty.

We didn’t have much time in the city, so as our stomachs began to dig into the noodles, we hatched a plan to maximize our time in Phnom Penh. We had an outstanding project K9 order for a collection of Cambodian military surplus goods, and we needed to find some. We had determined the location of a few large markets in Phnom Penh, and with any luck we would be able to find the merchandise that day and mail it off the next.

We climbed back on the cycles and headed toward the Phnom Penh central market, a giant golden-domed monstrosity at the center of town. It was then that Scott noticed his front tire was missing one of the bolts that held it in place. This was not an acceptable state of affairs, so we pulled a lichtenschtein and headed in search of a bike shop that might have a spare bolt on hand. We wheeled for a while before finding the Vicious Cycle Cafe and Laundry.

We pulled in and requested a bolt. They brought out first one then another. None of them fit. Despite our protests, however, one of the workers at the shop took off in search of the correct bolt. He was gone for quite some time. We had read cover-to-cover both copies of the Cambodia Daily by the time he returned.

So long did his mission take, that we would likely have simply left the Vicious Cycle Cafe and Laundry, except that he had taken our only remaining nut with him to compare, rendering Scott’s cycle useless.

Finally our man returned with a frown and an empty hand. He had driven all over and been unable to find it. “It’s a Chinese size,” he explained, “we only have Thai sizes here.” whatever that meant (and by all means please speculate in the comments). Then he had a final idea. Before we could explain to him that we would just go find the Chinese bike shop and speak to them in Chinese and get the nut, he was off again, on another long ride. Eventually he returned, victorious. But we had eaten the noodles so long ago, we were badly in need of another meal.

He put the nut on Scott’s cycle, cranked it on real tight, apologized, and charged us $1.00.

We thanked him and headed off. We were hungry again, but there was enough time to maybe eat quickly and still find some surplus military goods. We really laid into the Speed TRs, making up for lost time and heading for the market when we heard a terrible noise. We knew immediately what it was: Scott’s bearing was busted again.

I felt my insides melt into despair for a moment. Again, so soon? What could have caused such misfortune? We got off the bikes, and walked them over to a nearby park, overlooking the Tonle Sap river. We tried to sit down, but a security guard started yelling at us from across the park. Perhaps no bikes were allowed inside? Regardless, we apologized, and trudged defeatedly over to the parking lot of a nearby restaurant. Once there we sat down on a crumbling colonial wall, and with great effort shrugged off our despair and started to form a plan.

Why would the bearing be broken again? Willie had put in brand new expensive Japanese bearings. Well, we had one replacement bearing back at the hotel, the one Willie had given us to show how the originals had been NBK brand rather than the Japanese NSK. We could have the same guys that just helped us find a new nut put that one in the bike. That would get us back on the road. So we headed off, walking the cycles, toward the Vicious Cycle Cafe and Laundry. As we walked, we chewed through possible explanations. Likely it was not the collision with the one-and-only Stew Motta that had caused Scott’s bearing to break… it must be something else. Then it came: the nut! Both days when the bearings had broken had been when the nuts had been recently tightened. I looked down at the nuts on my bike, and they were covered on one end, making over-tightening impossible. Scott’s bike, on the other hand, had normal nuts.

When our man on the “Lao side” of Luang Prabang had trued Scott’s wheel after the accident with Motta, he had tightened the heck out of the nuts that held the wheel on. Then the bearing broke. Now we get a new nut, and the fellows at Vicious Cycle had re-tightened the nuts that hold the wheel on, and once again the bearing broke! Willie must have known not to over-tighten the nuts, but gone too far in the other direction. The nuts were so loose that one just fell off!

How’s that for Encyclopedia Brown (not to be confused with Leroy Brown)?

Back in Phnom Penh, I hopped on my bike to get the spare bearing from the Amari Watergate, while Scott walked his bike the rest of the way to the Vicious Cycle Cafe and Laundry. Once I got there, he was already in the back of the shop, knee deep in axle grease with the Vicious Team, tearing the dynamo hub apart.

Willie had been careful, gentle, and tender with the Speed TR wheel. These guys were much more of the Shock-and-Awe school of cycle repair. They were hammering on the wheel like crazy, before realizing that there was one more nut to loosen.

Needless to say, the hub would never again produce electricity. But the bearing went in, then all the other pieces went back over it, and we gingerly tightened the nuts. Scott took her for a ride. All seemed okay. Our man asked only another $1.00 for the job, since he had, after all, caused the problem. We were just happy to now know what had been happening with Scott’s bike. We gladly and insistently paid three times what he asked, and headed back onto the street, still able to get a little wheeling in before dark.

The K9 mission would need to wait for the next day. It would be full, as there was plenty else planned, but we thought we might be able to do it. It was time then to just enjoy the operability of Scott’s cycle.

We headed north, up the Tonle Sap river until the city started to peter out and the sun was sinking low. With that we turned into the interior winding streets of the city, relying on our compass, and making our way generally back toward home. It was about then that we realized we were starving. We stopped first at a tiny street stall, selling little scallion pancakes, with a spicy vinegar sauce. We had first one round, then another of these.

With a little food in the stomach, we headed deeper into the city, indulging in a bit of night wheeling.

The traffic in Phnom Penh is wonderful: very welcoming and forgiving, with a nice slow average speed. The main streets are well lit, so we began to stick to those, which greatly improved our ability to navigate. We came across a great many vendors selling chicken, and decided to buy a small chicken.

The woman packed it up for us with a giant handful of basil and mint leaves. From there we wheeled back toward our house, stopping at a sandwich stand to buy a couple of small baguettes.

We feasted that night outside a little general store on chicken, basil, and baguette. Feeling like kings of kings, we strode proudly into the Amari Watergate.

When we got inside, a clearly disturbed man was screaming at the front desk clerk. “No! Go Back! Show me another camera! His face, God damn it, I need to see his face!”

I peered over his shoulder, and the clerk was reviewing some security camera footage. “Who is he?” the man bellowed, “What was he doing in there for so long?”

“Checking your room”

“Checking should only take 30 seconds! He was in my room for a full two minutes!”

Scott and I exchanged puzzled glances and went upstairs. I was about to go to sleep when my curiosity got the better of me. I pulled on some clothes and ran downstairs. The man who had been bellowing at the clerk was outside, smoking. I approached him.

“Excuse me, sir. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help but overhear… what happened?”

“Sensitive Data! I am traveling with confidential sensitive data, and they went in my room and copied all of it!” He drew closer to me and I could smell the thick malt whiskey on his breath “If you have anything, anything confidential at all, don’t leave it in your room. They’ll copy everything.”

I bid him my best, turned around, and returned inside. The clerk looked like a battered ghost. I attempted to give him a look which said, “Don’t worry, I won’t yell at you; I’m on your side,” then went upstairs.

Luckily, they had already copied our passports at the front desk, which left only the unpublished AsiaWheeling content for them to take advantage of. And frankly, we’d be flattered.

Our boat was leaving at 7:00 am, but we were told to be ready for a van to drive us to the docks at 6:15. In retrospect it might have been more prudent to wheel the 10 km to the boat dock. But not knowing exactly how to get there and capitulating to our affinity for sleep, we decided to take the van.

At 6:00 am we were in the comfort of our room at the Mandalay Inn, scarfing down cheap German corn flakes from two small hotel water cups, when there was a knock on our door.

It was one of the Mandalay’s staff members. He informed us that the bus was waiting for us, and we proceeded to finish our cereal and hurry down. By 6:15 when we walked out the door, the bus was already filled with sleepy and grumpy looking tourists. The driver proceeded to unload all their stuff from the back of the van in order to best fit the Speed TRs, and the grumpiness level increased.

People on board were worried that they were going to miss the bus; they were tired, grumpy, and about to spend the whole day on a boat together, so would do well getting over it. And they did, but not before the tension in the van reached a near breaking point, as one straggling German fellow sauntered up 20 minutes late, claiming ignorance of the 6:15 departure.

The tension began to soften as we pulled onto the road. We stopped once on the way to fill up a tire with air, and I looked back to see the rest of the passengers snoozing happily with Scott in the back. When we finally pulled up to the dock, it was more of a cluster of fishing boats than a passenger ferry dock. It consisted of some bamboo planks next to a medium-sized open air fish and seaweed market. I scanned the area for the boat that had been depicted at the ticket office. It was nowhere to be found. Interesting. I climbed out of the van and went around back to help the driver unload the bikes.

The driver began vehemently working to extract some sort of extra bike charge out of us. The man was unabashedly slimy about it. Though he had previously referenced a fixed “bike charge” of $5.00 per bike, he quickly reduced his price to $1.00 for both bikes when I offered.

We followed the rest of our groggy fellow tourists down the sandy banks to a small boat, which for lack of a better name, I shall call “The Minnow.” She was probably eight meters in length and about two meters across.

A large metal awning covered the passenger compartment, which consisted of two long narrow wooden benches.  Behind the passenger compartment was the engine from a Nissan pickup truck that had been retrofitted to power the boat.

The same old Nissan steering wheel was fixed to a large metal pipe, through which ran a number of wires leading back to the rudder and propeller unit. The propeller and rudder themselves were another three or four meters from the rear of the boat, held at this distance by an intricate set of welded pipes, which also served as a frame for two rudders.

She was a lady to be sure. Scott and I climbed on and loaded our bags into a bin behind the driver’s seat, where they were tied down with rusty cord and covered with a few bits of tarp to keep the spray out. The boat men — there were two of them — helped us strap the Speed TRs to the roof of the passenger compartment, using our Sri Lankan bungees to secure them.

We climbed down into the passenger compartment. Though one was forced to sit rather upright, there was plenty of room for eight passengers. And there was actually a tiny door, no more than a meter high and less than a meter wide, which said WC, at the back of the boat. No lie there. No one dared venture in.

We were just getting ready to go when a man appeared, carrying a giant wad of tickets, which suggested he played some administrative role in the operation. In bits of English, he proceeded to explain to us that we would need to buy another $20.00 ticket for each of the bikes. The fact that the bikes would need their own tickets was, of course, a blatant and ridiculous attempt at over-charging us. We had not even paid $20.00 for our own tickets. But the guy was a real stickler, frowning at us, selectively understanding our communications, waving his stack of tickets around like a pom-pom, and holding up the departure of the boat. We, of course, didn’t want to pay him anything and kept explaining to him that there was no bike charge, pretending that we had confirmed this with external parties, even trying to change the subject or pursue other technicalities about our tickets or the nature boat. All was to no avail. Finally, we felt it better to just get out of there, so we laid into bargaining. And eventually pulled away from the dock paying $2.50 per bike. Another case of highway robbery here in Cambodia.

As we, dear reader,  discussed before, Southeast Asia is experiencing one of the worst droughts in its entire history. So the water level was low. Very low. We got stuck in the mud twice just trying to get out of the small canal that had been dug to increase the size of the dock. Each time we got stuck, our driver would instruct the other boatman to get out a long pole which widened into a kind of mini-paddle at one end and plunge the pole into the muck. Meanwhile, he would gun the Nissan engine sending plumes of mud flying into the air, often soaking passing fishermen with rust colored muck. Eventually we would depart, and the fishermen would simply roll off their boats and plop into the river, washing themselves clean, and then climb back into their tippy little crafts.

When we crossed the Tonle Sap, it was about a meter and a half deep at its deepest point, but you would have no idea as you crossed it, for in terms of latitude and longitude, it is a giant sea of a lake, and the water is a totally opaque sedimentary brown. We ramped up to cruising speed as we made our way across the lake. Soon we were totally out of sight of the shore.

The Tonle Sap is a very interesting lake. As Scott snoozed inside the boat, I climbed out on the roof to read a little about it on the WikiReader. It is the largest lake in Southeast Asia and is the source of 60% of Cambodia’s protein intake. It is also one of the most bio-diverse ecosystems on the planet. The muddy waters are astoundingly rich with life. As we rode, we saw hundreds upon hundreds of people fishing in the river, with nets, lines, and even their bare hands.

Soon we had crossed the lake and found our way into a section of floating villages. These must be what our great helmsman was talking about. As we entered each one, our driver would slow down, and I would climb once again onto the roof, or hang off the side of the boat to see the action. Most of the locals looked at our boat full of white people with distrust, but a few were willing to smile and call out greetings.

We had not yet had any coffee that day, and I was beginning to regress into a primordial torpor. Luckily I had a Red Bull Energy Shot laying in my bag. I sucked the thing down, grimaced, and wiped my face with my sleeve. Whenever I drink one of those potions, I feel like Han Solo drinking a strange alien liquor.

Somewhere around the third floating village, we started picking up passengers. Now each time we entered a town, we would pull up to the local passenger hut, which usually had a bunch of boats parked out front. People would emerge in strikingly dressy clothes. These were villagers in their Sunday best, getting ready to head into Battambang for a little bit of the old “Bright Lights, Big City.” They carried little luggage, but sometimes many small children. Our driver would negotiate our boat reasonably close to the dock, then wait as the new passengers picked their way out to us, walking or hopping from boat to boat, until they had made it far enough to be picked up by one of the many 12-year-old boys who were operating little wooden water taxis, which they propelled using smaller versions of the large pole/oar device that our boatmen used to get us out of the mud in which we frequently got stuck.

Perhaps our 12th time getting mildly stuck, our driver attempted to turn the rudder when it was submerged deep in the mud. The rudder and some parts of the pipe frame around it snapped. Now the entire rudder/propeller contraption rattled terribly, and both the man poling and the driver were required to work full time controlling The Minnow.

Luckily, we were able to find a village just around the next bend, where there was a boat repair and makeshift welding station. A number of men took off their shoes and climbed into the water. First they took a few long metal poles, and began to use them for leverage in bending the metal of the cage back into alignment. With that done, they called over to a one-armed man who put on a pair of King-of-Thailand-style sunglasses and grabbed a length of wire and large alligator clip, which he plugged into an electrical generator. He then perched himself, balanced on a boat next to ours, and took out a length of wire. He clamped the wire between the jaws of the electrified alligator clip. He took another clip (presumably of opposite charge) and attached it to the frame of the boat.

Now whenever he made contact with the frame of the Minnow’s rudder, a huge shower of sparks would fly into the air, and some red hot melted metal would be left behind.

With that problem welded away, we kept moving upriver, picking up more and more passengers, all of whom were paying far less than we had paid for even just the Speed TRs. Around 1:00 pm, we stopped at a floating restaurant and convenience store.

Scott and I purchased some more coffee, thanks be to Jah, and a couple plates of rice and boiled chicken and lake-weeds. It was delicious.  From there, we kept going up the river. As we putted farther and farther up, the river got narrower and narrower. We began to get stuck more and more often. One time all the men on the boat had to take off their shoes, get out, and push us through the mud.

Then suddenly, we had stopped. The guys were tying the boat to the banks and we were asked to climb up a ladder made of sticks, then catch our luggage as it was hoisted up to us. We piled our stuff on the grass and looked around. This was certainly not Battambang, but none the less everyone was getting off. Where were we?

Well, at least part of it was a cabbage field. There was also a small grass hut, under which a few locals lazed, escaping the searing afternoon sun. There was also a single medium-sized Toyota Hilux pickup truck. People were beginning to load themselves into the truck. A couple of the boatmen began to do the same with our luggage. Scott and I were still wrapping our minds around the situation, when we looked up to notice that all our luggage was on the truck and wrapped up with tarpaulins. The entire boatload of people was crammed onto the vehicle as well. How would we fit? More importantly, how would the Speed TRs fit?

We briefly considered unfolding the Speed TRs and riding whatever distance this pickup was about to traverse, but in light of our lack of conclusive data as to the actual length of the journey, the fact that our luggage was already well stowed and tied down underneath a tarpaulin, and the certainly dubious quality of the road, we chose to squeeze into the back of the truck with all the rest.

The fellows in the grass hut began to stir, and produced a great length of cord made of cut up truck tires. They used this to strap the Speed TRs to the back of the truck.

They did a good job, and I felt confident they would not come loose. The elastic nature of the tire strips, however, did mean that the bikes did a fair bit of bouncing around. We crossed our fingers and put our faith in the cycle’s fine Chinese craftsmanship.

I climbed in and essentially dove into the center of the crowd, allowing myself to be slowly sucked in, as though in quicksand. As everyone squirmed around and shifted their personal items, I eventually found a place amidst the mass of bodies. Scott took a seat on the side of the truck bed, with his feet inside the pool of humans. However, as we drove, the roller coaster-like quality of the road, the many giant potholes we were forced to traverse, and the giant low-hanging branches that threatened to sweep those in the highest positions right out of the truck, forced him to eventually join me on the ground.

We rode on for about three quarters of an hour. My knees were about to explode from the strange position they had worked their way into. Each time we went over a bump, my head grew closer and closer to whacking one of our fellow passengers in the crotch. Extreme.

But then we stopped at a roadside stand and everyone climbed out for a little break. I thanked the powers that be for relief from the knee pain. We strolled around and stretched a bit. All in all, the entire group was in rather high spirits. Certainly today had been an adventure.

Another 30-minute ride brought us to the outskirts of Battambang, where the boat would have dropped us off, had the water level not been so low. We were instantly surrounded by a horde of touts offering us tuk-tuk rides, hotel discounts, bus tickets, drugs, and prostitutes. We were able to silence most of them by merely unfolding the Speed TRs. The now quiet horde placed their hands behind their backs and watched patiently and intently as we put the pedals back on the bikes, and removed the protective padding from the rear transmission. We bid them farewell and took off into the city.

We had no idea how this city was laid out, but we knew that we needed to find the bus station. We stopped from time to time and asked people where the bus station was, using pantomime and various languages. All attempts were inexplicably unsuccessful. Finally, we stopped by the side of the road, and bought two cans of Coca-Cola from a nearby lady. My stomach was making a recovery, but for some reason the Coke was still appealing.

She pulled them out of a cooler full of murky gray water and went to great lengths to clean a thick layer of slime off  each can before giving them to us. She did not overcharge us, and was more than happy to let us set up shop on the curb near her stand to investigate the Lonely Planet PDFs on Scott’s machine.

We looked into the distance and identified a large statue of Shiva in the center of a roundabout. This allowed us to ascertain our exact position. From there, we were able to make our way easily to a delightful Chinese business hotel (we are, by the way huge fans of the Chinese business hotel), which offered us a double AC room for  $10.00 a night. It also happened to be right across the street from the bus depot.

The pieces were falling into place. We purchased a ticket the rest of way (about 6 hours) to Phnom Penh for $4.00 a person, and confirmed that there would be no bicycle charge.

With all that done, it seemed fitting that we wheel Battambang. And so we did.

The next morning my stomach was still not interested in food, but other than my recently pervasive lack of affinity for culinary experiences, we were doing great. Our conversations with our new cycling friend, who turned out not only  to be American, but also a recent immigrant to Russia, had led us to believe that today was a day for revisiting our Borobudur-style of wheeling. The waypoint was a far off temple by the name of Banteay Srei. It’s true that it’s much smaller than the other Angkor temples, and that it lies another 25 km northeast of the main Angkor complex, but we had been hearing again and again that this was one of the more amazing places to visit in Cambodia. And it was only a mildly savage wheel away, which after all is what we’re here to do.

So once again we climbed onto the Speed TRs, this time wisely skipping breakfast at the otherwise positively enchanting Mandalay Inn. We wheeled into the dusty tourism-driven monstrosity which is Siem Reap. The sun was once again blasting, and the temperature was quickly rising. We needed to put something in our stomachs (whether they liked it or not) and lay into the wheel.

We finally selected a little faux French cafe which offered $3.00 breakfasts.  This is by no means cheap, and blows the average AsiaWheeling cost-of-breakfast index by at least three times. But it seemed to us a reasonable deal, due to an interesting part of the Cambodian monetary system, which, if you will humor me dear reader, I’d like to discuss.

Namely, they use US dollars as the national currency. Now I know, dear reader, that you’ve heard of something called the Cambodian Riel, and AsiaWheeling can vouch for its existence. We’ve seen them, even used them. But when it really comes down to it, the Cambodians use good old Â¥amaguchi $pending döllÃ¥rs. The Riel and the Dollar are locked in a kind of strange kinship, in which dollars are used for most pricing and to pay most debts over a few cents. Even large Cambodian corporations, like our cellphone provider, Beeline, use the old greenback in all their printed documentation. In our experience, the Real is used essentially to replace coins. American coins are not welcome in Cambodia, and any change that requires increments below $1.00 is given out in Riel, at the rate of 1000 Riel to the quarter-dollar.

An interesting side effect of being back in a land of dollars, is that we were not able to build up a new value structure based on the price of goods in the local economy. We already had a good idea of the value of a dollar and how much was a fair price for, say, a bowl of fruit and muesli.

It was by exploiting this weakness in our own ideas of value, that the Cambodians were able to get away with charging significantly more for some items than we had been used to paying on the previous portions of the trip. All this aside, there was something comforting about the dollars in my wallet. They felt more like real money and less like Monopoly money, somehow more solid. Interesting.

Back in Cambodia, we had ordered two bowls of muesli and fruit. When they arrived we discovered that here muesli was much more expensive than fruit, making each bowl more like a giant tropical fruit salad, covered in yogurt, and sprinkled conservatively with muesli.

As we were eating, a number of landmine-related amputees came over to our table to offer goods to us or to panhandle. These fellows (all that we met, strangely enough, were men) were beginning to become a normal part of our lives here in Cambodia. Cambodia has had in the past, and continues to have (to a slightly lesser degree these days) a truly heinous problem with landmines. Cambodia was very heavily mined during past times of war and political strife. Now, as farmers attempt to turn over new land and children play, from time to time they get blown up.

We read that on our way to the Banteay Srei temple, there would be a landmine museum, where we could learn more about the situation and donate money to help remove landmines from Cambodia. This would be an important waypoint.

We forked over our $6.00, what would have been deemed a giant expenditure in Indonesia or India, and climbed onto the cycles. My stomach was still not so hot, but the food seemed to be providing me with energy, so off we went. We pedaled hard over the smooth new road to Angkor.

We decided to skip the secret herb garden entrance and made our way directly into the park through the main gate. They stopped us briefly to check our tickets, and with that we were free to ride on. We made our way quickly around the main Angkor Wat complex, heading east and north into the more far-flung regions of the park. As we made our way out of the main section, the road quality diminished slightly, though it was still quite rideable, even at full speed.

The concentration of touts and roadside stands also fell off in no time. Soon we were wheeling through a thick forest, where our solitude was only interrupted by the occasional tiny settlement (likely housing for the employees of the organization that maintained and operated the Angkor complex, an outfit by the name of APSARA).

As we rode on, the road become markedly worse, though still quite smooth by AsiaWheeling standards, and nothing the Speed TRs couldn’t handle. We passed out of the Angkor park proper, and into a more agricultural land. Here there was no more jungle; all had been turned into farmland or villages. We passed through a number of small villages, where the street was lined with stands selling everything from fresh fruit, to gasoline, to handicrafts. In one of these villages, we took a lichtenschtein and began heading slightly uphill. The Banteay Srei temple was located in the foothills of the more rocky region where much of the sandstone was harvested to build the many temples in the Angkor complex.

The condition of my stomach was strange. While I was wheeling, I felt reasonably fine, thriving on the physical exertion and the strikingly beautiful scenery, but when we stopped to drink water, I would instantly be hit with waves of nausea and exhaustion, which made it quite unpleasant to sit or stand. This, as you can imagine, dear reader, made me none too eager to stop for water breaks. Scott, however, took on the noble task of keeping us from becoming dehydrated, for we were sweating buckets. Somewhere in the sweating haze of the last few kilometers of the ride, we managed to pass right by the landmine museum.

When we finally reached the temple, I climbed off my bike, and instantly curled up on a long wooden bench in the shade of the welcome and information center. I lay there for some time letting many sour feelings wash over me and eventually fade. When I once again sat up, Scott was at my side with a can of Coca-Cola.

I am normally not one to drink sugared sodas, but this proved to be exactly what I needed, giving me an instant blood sugar boost, and being the only thing in the last day not met with animosity by my stomach.

From there we made our way into the temple. It did not take us long to realize why this had come so often recommended.

It was truly glorious, covered with more ornate carving than we had yet seen in Angkor.

Much of the temple was in very good condition, and I found myself becoming quite engrossed by the some of the smallest parts: the edge of a doorway or a bit of gutter.

Truly an incredible place.

One of the great things about Coca-Cola is that it causes a sudden spike in blood sugar. One of the not so great things is that the spike is followed by a crash. I began to crash just as we were leaving the temple through its back door. On the other side of the door, we found a musical ensemble consisting completely of land-mine victims. Each was playing a different instrument based on the degree of dexterity he or she still possessed. We sat down to listen for a while.

They were great. We were sure to put a few dollars in their tray before leaving in search of more sugared bevarages and perhaps a bathroom.

We found both in the same place. We sat down outside the bathroom, and began fishing though a large red cooler, out of which the bathroom attendant was selling beverages. After a fair bit of bargaining, Scott had a can of coffee, and I decided to roll the dice on a can of Malaysian soy milk. The soy milk seemed to be doing the trick, but I had to take my time. This was fine because the drink seller was soon joined by a woman, and they were both interested in learning more about AsiaWheeling. While we chatted with them in bits of English and plenty of pantomime, a group of British tourists came over and used the bathroom. We greeted them both on their way in and on their way out.

When I had finally finished the soy milk, I stood up to go and suddenly felt an emptiness inside of me. My Maui Jims! Where were they? I patted all my pockets and then remembered I had washed my face in the bathroom and removed them in doing so. I dashed back into the room and looked on the counter, but my glasses were gone. I came back out, quite distressed, and asked our two new friends if they knew where my Maui Jims had gone, pantomiming a pair of spectacles. They replied, indicating that the British fellows had taken them.

Bloody well then. Scott jetted toward the gate to cut the buggers off before they could escape. I sprinted back toward the temple in case they had returned that way. Chances were low that they’d been able to make a getaway already, so we still had a chance.

I removed my wallet as I ran, taking out my ticket so that I could show it to the guard without having to stop.I ran into the complex, narrowly dodging a Japanese tour group that appeared out of nowhere. Once I reached the center of the temple, I sought high ground and began to scan for the scoundrels. And then I saw them… lurking toward a less visited section.

I headed over and at first could not tell if any of them were wearing my beloved glasses. But as I grew closer, I could see that one of them was looking particularly sharp. He was a pasty chap in an Indian kurta-style shirt, wearing a pair of beautiful golden spectacles. I walked directly up to him.

“Hey, brother,” I said as I removed my glasses from his face. He stammered a bit in response. “Cheers,” I replied, and headed back toward the entrance.

I met back up with Scott and shared a brief moment of triumph. Scott munched on a few nuts, and I pondered why even with this great victory, my body was not accepting food.

Back on the cycles, we pedaled hard toward home, keeping our eyes peeled for the landmine museum. We had missed it on the way here, but managed to catch it on the way back. The entrance to the place was lined with old bomb and landmine casings. It cost us $2.00 each to get in, but was well worth it and a good investment.

The museum was started by a former Khmer Rouge child soldier, named Aki Ra, who had defected to the Vietnamese near the end of the rule of the Khmer Rouge. On the Vietnamese side, he fought hard to liberate his country from that dark time. Since then he had begun working tirelessly to defuse the many landmines that plagued his people.

The museum was, to put it lightly, intense. Most of it consisted of a number of rooms, filled with examples of land mines, large printed posters explaining the history of landmines in Cambodia, and haunting children’s drawings of people blown to bits.

The vast majority of the landmines had either Chinese or Cyrillic writing on them. This observation was corroborated by a large poster showing the word’s inventory of landmines. China had the most, followed by Russia and the US. We struggled to wrap our minds around the things we were seeing.

In many of the photos, it seemed Mr. Ra was defusing or disposing of landmines and unexploded bombs by roasting them over a flame, or actually building little bonfires out of the bombs themselves.

It’s hard to believe that this is a reliable way to dispose of such things… We ended our visit by taking in a very intense video produced by the organization, featuring a great many landmine victims.  This was an important waypoint, to be sure.

We left the museum feeling very strange, very lucky… It took quite some time of wheeling and talking before we realized that we had gotten so far off topic and onto a strange existential tangent that we both must be suffering from drastically low blood sugar. We pulled over to the side of the road and drank two more Cokes. The woman who sold them to us was exceedingly friendly, and seemed to be extremely popular with the local villagers, for a few of them pulled over while riding their bicycles to chat with her during our time at her stand. She also had some fantastically distressed Coca Cola advertising materials.

We kept, wheeling, running on Coca Cola and pure will power.  By the time we reached Siem Reap, I was beat to shreds. I was barely able to maintain common civility when we finally dismounted at a fruit smoothie stand near the Mandalay Inn. The power had been out for hours, so they had not been making smoothies, but right as we rolled up the power came back on. The owner and some of her friends who were sitting around the outside burst into applause and laughter, attributing the return of electricity to our arrival.

I was nearly unable to control myself, so intense were the waves of exhaustion and nausea. Water helped, and so did a somewhat warm (most of the ice had melted during the power outage) banana and mango smoothie. I was unable to each much of anything else that night, but we did purchase a couple of boat tickets from our hotel. Elya, the Russian-American cyclist that we had met a few days before had recommended that we take a boat to a city called Batambang. The boat would take us across the Tonle Sap and up a river. Our Great Helmsman, the Honorable Mr. David Campbell, had spoken to us during our planning meeting in Iowa, describing the floating villages of the Tonle Sap as an unmissable part of our Cambodian explorations. We were excited to get the chance to see them, and while the boat was somewhat expensive, pictures on the wall of the ticket booking agency showed it as a rather large comfortable looking vessel, featuring a bathroom.

It would be an interesting and pleasurable ride, no doubt. So I did my best to sleep plenty that night, in hopes of being able to eat the next day.

The alarm went off not long after sunrise and we made our way excitedly to the downstairs of the Mandalay Inn. The staff was again supremely friendly to us, hustling to remove the cycles from the room where they had stored them overnight. They spent the night right next to a full-sized cycle that the staff were just bubbling to inform us belonged to another American who was cycling here as well. Interesting, we thought, and ordered breakfast.

We don’t generally order breakfast at the hotel unless it’s included with the room. But we were in a rush to get to Angkor Wat to maximize our wheeling there. Plus they were so darned friendly here, we found ourselves tempted to support the venture. The breakfast was unfortunately only successful in the support-the-venture department, as it turned out to be expensive (by Cambodian standards) and consisted of a fried egg into which had been pushed four “Lit’l Smokies^®.” (For the uninitiated, I’ll have to refer you to GOMEAT.com).

Toast was limp and depressed. Coffee was flavored with some hazelnut-type chemical, and was monstrously sweet.

Perhaps some of my complaint over the breakfast comes more from internal strife. My stomach had not been up to its usual hearty patterns of behavior, and hunger and passion for food eluded me. I had little interest in food, but scarfed this mediocre meal down knowing we had a big wheel ahead of us. Somewhat under-caffeinated, and oscillating between flourishing excitement for the day’s wheel and waves of nausea, I joined Scott on the road.

Signs for Angkor were everywhere, and the wheel took us at first along a large canal that wound its way through the city of Siem Reap. We wheeled by the place where we had enjoyed the Crazy Beef Burger the night before, and followed the signs until we were dumped onto the huge central road that leads to the Angkor temple complex. Angkor is one of the most visited tourist destinations in the world, with approximately 700,000 visitors a year. The huge road was justified, but still not all that fun to wheel. The shops that lined the street were overpriced, and we had zero luck finding a decently priced cup of coffee. When we saw an opportunity to take a break from this road, by wheeling the “Angkor Herb Gardens,” we called a lichtenschtein. The herb gardens were strange, and none too full of herbs. And before we knew it, we were simply riding up a one-way street the wrong way through thick jungle. This kind of maneuver, known in the AsiaWheeling community as the “subversive garade” is commonly accepted in Cambodia, especially if the perpetrator is a motorcycle or bicycle. So we had no fear even when passing police officers headed the other way.

I checked our bearings on my compass-bell and we appeared to be following the main road, more or less, just a kilometer or so to the east. So where were we? This was no herb garden… in fact it was such dense jungle that the amount of traffic on the road seemed unjustified. Then suddenly we came around the corner and found ourselves looking out on a giant rectangular lake, with an old stone wall around it. I was still wrapping my mind around what exactly was looming out of the center of that giant moated structure, when we were promptly stopped by a police woman. “Tickets?” she asked.

It was then that we realized we had found our way somehow onto a maintenance access road of some kind, and this was the Angkor complex. We’d made it. And as long as we were not about to be arrested for trespassing or sneaking in without paying, it looked pretty cool. Scott was able to convince the woman that she had merely caught us in an honest mistake. We asked where we might buy tickets, and she motioned the way down the road. Angkor exists on a scale that is rarely encountered by humans. The temples are large and spread out, and a fine grid of newly paved roads connects them all. You could say it’s one of the most readily wheelable tourist attractions on earth.

The ticket counter was a few kilometers away, and on the ride we stopped to buy some coffee. The roads around the main temple, called Angkor Wat, are lined with stand after identical stand, selling basic Cambodian fare: lettuce wraps, fresh fruit, French bread sandwiches, grilled meats, potato and carrot soup. We struck out with the first few stops, finding no coffee, but third time hit gold. Unfortunately, it seems we were the only people to order coffee from this stand – perhaps ever. We tried to communicate that we were in a bit of a rush, because of our illegal status in the area. In response, I believe, the woman took dirty water, half boiled it, dissolved instant coffee powder in it and served it to us.

It tasted like a Great Dane’s bathwater. My stomach, which was just starting to settle a bit, took a savage turn for the worse. It was only mildly improved by the time we reached the ticket office. We wheeled out of the park then swung around to re-enter legitimately. Having done that, we headed back to Angkor Wat.

We pulled up outside the temple and were quickly swarmed by children selling drinks, food, post cards, books, and the like. We refused most of them and haggled hard with one of them in order to still overpay a bit for a book detailing the history and relevant features of all the Angkor temples.

Once we had paid one of them, the rest of the kids caught the scent of blood and redoubled their assault. It was a new kind of sales maneuver, one we had not yet encountered. It was a clever combination of the guilt-trip and the persistence hunt. One of them was vehemently explaining to me that she was going to skip going to school that day so that she could wait for me to visit the temple then come out and perhaps buy a water from her. “Don’t skip school!” I said.

“Then buy some water so that I can afford to go to school.”

Sometimes AsiaWheeling is a tough business. Locking the bikes and extracting ourselves from this swarm was one of the tough parts. But we did it, and soon we were wandering into Angkor Wat.

Angkor Wat is an incredible piece of human ingenuity, a fascinating and haunting structure. It is just one of many temples in Angkor, and it is honestly best described using imagery. So without further adieu, let me give you a bit.

As we walked through the temple complex, in the peak of the hottest and driest season, we marveled at the scale and  interconnectedness of the ancient Khmer civilization.  While Hindu at the time of building, Angkor Wat’s temples were later retrofitted with bas relief and sculpture to reflect the now Buddhist religion of the kingdom.  Our conversation turned to the history of empire, as we attempted to identify any large-scale civilizations that had not used religion as a principal tool in social and ideological hegemony.

The large Communist powers of the Mid-20th Century seem to have been the first state governments to invest heavily in scientific institutions for answering the questions of human curiosity, rather than rely on religion to play such a role.  We continued to rack our brains, placing other societies on a gradient of separability from religion.  The Chinese dynasties held the mandate of heaven, while the Egyptians of 2500 BCE worshiped the Pharaoh as a god.  Medieval Europe intertwined church and state in an incredible force of social control, just as the Arab diaspora from their peninsula led them to use Islam as a tool of imperial organization and even urban design.

Finally, we reached feudal Japan, which seemed it might fit the bill, at least in a cursory analysis of Shintoism and feudal Japan on the WikiReader.

It was boiling hot out. I mean steaming, dripping hot. Scott and I were soaked. It seemed like we could not drink water fast enough. By the time we left the complex, we were all too happy to purchase water from the nagging hoard. This was, of course, not straightforward at all. And to simply pay the already over-priced fee of $1.00 for a bottle, I had to haggle vehemently for about 10 minutes.

With that experience under our belts, we decided to take a wheel. We headed away from Angkor Wat, and spotted a couple of cyclists darting off of a sandy side path. We decided to see where they were coming from, so we headed onto the same path. It turned out to be less of a cycling path and more of a sandy hiking trail that led around the giant Angkor Wat moat.

As we rode, we also found this was the spot of choice for a picnic on the lunch breaks of Angkor employees. They eyed us somewhat suspiciously, as we coaxed the Speed TRs over the sandy and treacherous path. All the lunching people around us began to spark a thought in Scott’s mind.

It was time for lunch. My stomach was still a mess, but eating is important. So we went to the only air-conditioned restaurant in the park, and I struggled valiantly to eat a few French fries while Scott worked hungrily at some Cambodian Anise-scented Pork and Egg Curry. For me the most pleasant part of the meal was the mint-scented cool towel they provided.

With eating thankfully out of the way, we poured our energy back into the wheel and the exploration of more temples.

Next on our list was Bayon.

Bayon is the central temple in a nearby sub-complex of temples called Angkor Thom.

We locked our bikes to a recently painted flag pole outside and headed in. This temple was much smaller than Angkor Wat, but was inviting and created intimate space in a way that Angkor had not.

This temple is famous mostly for the many faces on its surfaces. I enjoyed the dark and mysterious interior of the temple, which was filled with little stations where visitors could light incense and place it at the foot of one of the many images of Buddha.

As a result, the interior of Bayon was filled with a thick, scented smoke, which made for a most glorious effect when the sun cut it in thick yellow rays.

Back on the cycles, we made our way past a great many other temples, but since wheeling felt good, we kept going.

We did stop, however, when we passed Ta Prohm. Ta Prohm is perhaps better known to our American readers as the “Tomb Raider Temple,” as it was the temple used in this scene from that movie. It is one of the few temples in the Angkor complex that have been left more or less in its original state, still covered with strangler fig trees. Once again, perhaps the images will do a better job at describing it than I can with words.

This temple was perhaps the best yet. To explore it, Scott and I split up, making our ways through the many crumbling chambers, and doing our best to observe the many Chinese and Japanese tour groups from a distance.

It was getting late in the day, and we were still a little over 20 kilometers from town, so we decided to close this chapter of Angkor wheeling, and ride home. We had, however, purchased three-day passes to the Angkor complex. So there will be more where that came from.

Back at the hotel, we came up to the desk just as a woman was checking in. She asked about our Panama hats and Speed TRs, and through the conversation we discovered that she was the owner of the cycle that had been spending the night with our Speed TRs. She had been riding her bike in Malaysia and Thailand before this. She invited us to join her for dinner and we accepted. But first, a hearty round of showering. It had been quite a day, and we entertained each other over curries in the Khmer Kitchen with stories of wheeling and road-ready survival tactics.

Sim City 2000 rang out, just like it always does, calling us back into the world of the living. We obliged, knowing that if we did not hustle we might miss the 5:30 am bus from Nakhon Ratchasima to the border.

The sun was still not up, so we wheeled through the Thai night toward the station. Traffic was very light, and the streets were essentially deserted. As we drew nearer to the station, we started to see fellows on motor bikes coming in from the country, already in uniform for their jobs as desk clerks or factory workers. We made it to the station just in time to load our things on the bus, buy our tickets from a woman who had erected a little wooden stall next to the platform, and pay a little $3.00 graft “bicycle fee” that we were quite certain did not technically apply to the folding cycles. We considered it a $3.00 donation to the cheerful women who were overseeing the operation, and feeling quite triumphant, relaxed into our seats.

I slept so soundly I did not even notice when the bus attendant brought water and cookies around to all aboard, and only barely noticed when the bus was suddenly loaded completely full to the hilt (I’m talking people packed in, standing in the aisles) and then subsequently unloaded a few stops later, in a tiny place called Ban Dan. A little more snoozing and suddenly we were the last passengers on the bus and were being dropped off at the giant border market called the Cambodian Friendship Market.

The market was sprawling with hundreds if not thousands of small stalls selling all kinds of goods for exchange between Cambodia and Thailand. A section of the market near the center was belching smoke, indicating to us that it was either a smelter or a food court.

Either way, it would be of interest to AsiaWheeling, so we threw on our bags and unfolded the speed TRs.

There was a fellow on a pink child’s bicycle across the street yelling at us as we unfolded the cycles and started into the market. As we made our way in, the fellow on the bike came up to us. He explained in nearly immaculate English that recent changes in Cambodian law had closed this border crossing’s visa-upon-entry station, and that we would need to get a visa issued on this side.

We were dubious, but a few factors lead us to consider his argument as truth:
a) on our previous entry into Cambodia, there had been no visa-upon-entry station
b) we saw many of these visa outfits, and they all seemed to be packed with people (with foreigners getting visas)
c) we had been too long traveling in the land of the honest salesman

So we forked over about 150% of the cost of a visa-upon-entry and our passports. He helped us to fill out the necessary forms, our entry and exit cards, and ran across the border on a motor bike to get our visas.

We drew the line when he tried to tell us that without a Cambodian ID card, we would not be able to buy sim cards across the border, and that we could only buy them from him for $15.00 a pop.

Armed with our newly issued Cambodian visas, we headed toward the border, by way of a Thai-Cambodian friendship chicken satay stand. We ordered a bunch of chicken grilled on a stick, with two plastic bags of sticky rice to accompany them. This food was tasty enough, and effective in its primary mission of sustaining our energy.

Thailand let us out with little fuss. While sweating profusely in line, we ran into a German/Hong Kong/Israeli fellow who agreed to share a cab to Siem Reap with us. We also ran into the visa-upon-entry counter, which was completely operational. Well, you can’t win them all, can you?

When we finally had made our way through a large stretch of casinos, catering to Thai who wish to get around the prohibition of gambling in Thailand (express buses from Bangkok to here are called the Gambler’s Express), we found ourselves at the health check station.

Here we filled out a form indicating that we were in good health, then headed to the passport control line, which was very slow; once we finally made it to the front, it was quite straightforward. They took a picture of my face, checked my visa, and let me into the country.

On the other side of the border, I bid goodbye to our German/etc. fellow as he climbed onto a tourist shuttle to the bus station. I waited for Scott to finish his processing, passing the time by doing folding bicycle schtick with the many touts who were interested in providing me with everything from cab rides, to hotel rooms, to prostitutes. When Scott finally emerged from passport control, we discussed our options. We had been on a bus for a while, so wheeling to the station, rather than taking the tourist bus sounded more our speed. We had told our German/etc. friend that we would meet him there. Little did we know, however, it was the last we would see of the man.

We wheeled across the city, periodically asking for directions to the bus terminal. We got some strange responses, which appeared to be sending us in two different directions simultaneously, but we decided to use the Indian method of averaging all responses to produce the verdict. So we rode on, straight through and out of Poipet, into the countryside.

It was hot, and we were going through our water at an alarming rate. This would prove to be the theme of our time here in Cambodia. So far, I would deem it the most dehydrating country of the entire trip. Even when we stopped for more water, we were told to keep going, only four more kilometers ahead.

Cambodia is flat as a pancake. We rolled along on a well maintained road, lined with new looking electric lines. It was brutally sunny, mildly humid, and the landscape looked dry. If you had plopped me here out of the blue and told me this was Nebraska during the summer, I could easily have been convinced.

But the real question was: who would build a bus station way out here in the countryside? What cruel joke were the locals playing on us? We let these questions whirl around in our heads, but kept riding. The voices were promptly silenced when, low and behold, we arrived at a giant bus depot. A totally deserted bus depot.

We parked the bikes and got off, feeling something like characters in a zombie flick. We wandered into the empty interior of the depot. Almost all the shops were closed, including the ticket counter and the information counter. There were a few people wandering around doing nothing in particular, zombie-like. Interactions with them proved that some of them spoke a bit of English.

We were able to ascertain that there were two bus stations in this city. And for reasons that still remain a mystery, the Poipet officials switch between the two stations on a daily basis. One station is right in the Poipet city center. The other is this one that we had managed to find our way to.

Luckily, everyone in the station seemed to be friends with a guy who would be willing to drive us to Siem Reap. And after a fair bit of bargaining with the crowd, all present proceeded to completely forget the agreed upon price, upon the arrival of the cab driver. Scott and I looked at each other. We hadn’t really made much progress in the bargaining, so we just capitulated and climbed into the cab.

Our cab driver was a great chap, and the cab was reminiscent of a certain Toyota Camry that my friend Joe had driven in high school. I felt comfortable in the car. The cab had no radio, but proved to offer great acoustics for the ukulele. As we drove,  I sat in the back and played most of the songs I knew. We were beginning to notice a peculiar thing about Cambodia: all the cars were Toyota Camrys. And while I am, of course, mildly exaggerating here, the percentage of Camrys really was astounding, likely 90%. Any reader who can shed light on this is most heartily invited to do so in the comments.

We stopped for petrol and provisions at a road stall along the way, and watched the pump work as the hose snaked through our Speed TRs into the back of the car.

By the time we finally reached Siem Reap, the sun was beginning to sink low in the sky. On the ride we had selected a hotel from our Lonely Planet pdf and pulled up to find it quite a beautiful structure.  It was on a gravel road in the city center, and went by the name of The Mandalay Inn. It proved to be staffed by strikingly friendly and capable characters, to be totally affordable, spotlessly clean, and featured free wifi. An instant seal of approval.

That evening we wheeled into the city in search of food. We realized that we had not eaten since the friendship chicken, and were well past the point of blood-sugar-related madness. We finally sat down at a restaurant, which was in no rush to serve us, lacked the ability to make many of the things on the menu, but despite all, won us over with its charming staff, strange music, succulent Khmer curried shrimp, strange fruit smoothies, and ridiculous interpretation of the hamburger (called the Crazy Beef Burger –which Scott instantly re-dubbed the “Mad Cow” Burger).

From there, we figured there was just enough light left to take an evening sunset wheel.  We chose a direction that we guessed was not on the way to the Angkor complex, and began wheeling. Cambodia was beautiful; and the roads were smooth as silk.

We had not been able to attain speeds like this in some time, due to either bad roads or thick traffic. It felt fantastic to just let the Speed TRs eat.

And they were hungry. Once the sun began to hang low enough, we circled back, finding ourselves once again on the main road that had led to Siem Reap from Poipet. Traffic was thicker here, but manageable. We wheeled by giant hotel after giant hotel, finally finding our way back to the Mandalay Inn just as the sun ducked below the horizon.

SIM City 2000 rang out bright and early not for the first time in Steve’s room. It was not really that early by most standards, but during our time in Bangkok we had become so shifted from the normal solar-based schedule that it might as well have been ringing at 3.00 am. We groggily extracted ourselves, grabbed our passports and computer bags and made our way down to the street. It was a Sunday, and the city was still mostly closed for business. We were quite easily able to find a cab, and we explained to the driver that we needed to head to the Ekamai Metro Station. We were not sure where that was, but we knew there would be a bus for the Cambodian border leaving from there at 9:00 am.

It turned out to be quite a way from Dane’s place, and by the time we got there, there was little time to acquire breakfast and coffee. With most of the shops closed, and even the noodle sellers still getting their vats boiling, we found ourselves strolling into McDonalds and purchasing two McEgg sandwiches and a couple of coffees.

It took what seemed like an hour for the sandwiches to emerge, and when they did we thanked them and hurried to the bus stop. When we got there, the rest of the passengers were already filling out their emigration cards: one for Thailand and one for Cambodia.

This was a special bus, just for visa renewals. You see, dear reader, it is true for people from many countries that Thailand issues on-the-spot 15-day visas upon overland entries. Thus could we gain the extra days we needed to fix Scott’s cycle by entering Cambodia for a moment and promptly returning to Thailand.  True, this would require the purchase of a Cambodian visa, but it was one of the only ways to re-legitimize our presence in Bangkok.

With our cards filled out, we forked over some money and our passports to a very sharp Thai woman who was running the operation. She was the kind of woman who is just solid gold for any organization of which she is a part. Organized, edgy, kind and mothering at times, and an all-controlling Voltron-type at others. Sort of like my mom. With her at the helm we felt great, and soon drifted off to sleep.

We awoke somewhere in eastern Thailand when the bus stopped at a convenience store/gas station complex.

It was then that we began to realize our fellow riders on the bus were all of a particular ethnic background, and were speaking a language that was somewhat reminiscent of Spanish. We later discovered that they were Filipinos. Why such a large crowd of Filipinos were all investing nearly $30.00 on a bus to the Cambodian border, a visa into Cambodia, and a ride back was beyond us. But, as always, we invite speculation in the comments.

We were all told to get off the bus and not to come back for 10 minutes. “Yes Ma’am,” we replied, and proceeded to wander the vicinity, checking out the surrounding timber farming operations, and purchasing a few cans of coffee from the shop.

When we returned back to the bus, lunch had been prepared and laid out for us.

We struggled for a bit at the calculus of picking up the trays that now sat on our bus seats and negotiating ourselves into position with the trays on our laps. With that success we could tuck into lunch and begin to wake up.

We were driving through beautiful country, though markedly poorer than anywhere we’d been in Thailand to date. The surrounding jungle grew thicker, and low laying mountains appeared in the distance. Meanwhile they played American crime thriller movies at maximum volume on the bus’s formidable entertainment system.

When we finally reached the Thai-Cambodian border crossing, we found it to be quite modest. A large reasonably ornate arch covered the Thai side, emblazoned with imagery of the king and the royal crests. The crossing was a stretch of gravel road. The Cambodians appeared to be building a competing archway, but it was still under construction, so was currently just a large cluster of scaffolding.

No one appeared to be working on it. Thai people in cowboy hats were crossing the border, perhaps to gamble or buy duty-free items. In addition, a reasonable traffic of gentlemen and women with wheelbarrows transporting all manner of goods flowed back and forth from both sides. The border itself was marked by a 30-foot-deep trench, at the bottom of which some water stagnated.

The border crossing was a bridge over this trench, and after we were stamped and officially exited Thailand, the same woman from the bus was there to meet us. She took our passports and hurried off, leaving us with only photocopies of our essential documents, bearing a passport size image our face stapled to them. “Back here in 10 minutes,” our woman explained “for shopping.”

We made our way across the bridge and were soon swarmed by children begging for money. We then realized that this was the first time in the past month or so that we had been confronted with pan-handlers. Thailand had been almost completely devoid of them. We wandered through the duty-free store, which certainly did feature rock bottom prices. A carton of L&M brand cigarettes, for instance could be had for a little over $3.00. That’s nearly the cost of one pack in Bangkok.

Back on the Thai side of the trench, our fine woman was handing all the Filipino passports back, and had yet to lay into Scott’s and my U.S.passports. Using this time as productively as possible, we chatted with a burly Dutchman with tattoos covering his arms who shared stories with us about working on offshore oil rigs in Angola.

“What are you doing in Thailand?” We asked.

“As least as bloody possible,” he replied, nursing a cigarette between his thumb and forefinger.

We loitered for a bit longer, taking in a number of strange royalist shrines that were there, along with an interesting set of rooster statues. When we finally got our passports back, they had brand new Cambodian visas, smelling like freshly applied paste, issued, signed,  stamped, and voided in the same instant. We gave our passport copies and pictures back to the Thai authorities, who dutifully logged them and filed us away. Then returned to the bus.

On the ride back, we spent most of our time watching “The Hangover” at maximum volume, followed by a violent serial killer flick, “Law Abiding Citizen” starring Jamie Foxx.  The hangover had subtitles that seemed to have been translated into a foreign language, and then back into English.  The film became surprisingly more enjoyable with this unexpected feature.

When we were not transfixed by media, we spend our time talking about what a strange place Las Vegas is, and what a strange place America is, and how much there is to both love and hate about our country.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Singapore, the shipment of parts which would save AsiaWheeling from stagnation and inoperability was stirring and assembling itself, poised to board some mixture of trucks and planes, and make its way to Bangkok where we would be waiting in Steve’ s (may his beard grow ever longer) apartment, to spring into action and resume AsiaWheeling.